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May. 26th, 2008 03:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kitewithfishLast we left off: Thursday Night. Cissie, the Musical.
Okay, so it's called 'Elisabeth: The Musical'- a fictional musical version of the life of the Austrian Empress Sissie. It was just.... crazy bad. Just amazingly kitschy and goofy and silly. There are really just no words to describe it- it's more goofy and kitschy than Phantom of the Opera, the dancing was just a little bit sloppy, and the stage had essentially two revolving circles on the stage (one inside the other) that were overused immensely to get people on and off stage. The backdrop was also some strange projected version of the Hofburg being displayed from a very low angle.
One of the main singers was actually the Italian assassin who killed Sissie- the framework of the musical was him defending himself in Hell to a personification of Death, played by a painfully blond man who seemed to have the unholy power to look good in either black OR white, but not to actually act or sing. Apparently, Death and Sissie hooked up when she was about 16 and had fallen from a tree- he never got over her, and became a creepy stalker her whole life, including taking her children, assisting her son's suicide, and giving her syphilis to make it clear that her husband is sleeping with prostitutes.
There was also a random scene where the courtiers STRAP ON PLASTIC HORSES to intrigue with Sissie's stepmom to get the Kaiser to sleep with prostitutes.
This is the kind of musical which inspires people to create drinking games. However, for some reason, this saccharine slop created the need in the German audience for a standing ovation. It was, according to C, the last strike- she has lost faith in Germans. (For comparison, 'Arturo Ui' was incredible, and did not get a standing ovation.'
So, in order to help you with your Sissie experience, I submit the following:
Elisabeth, the Musical: the Drinking Game:
1. (Only for the strong of liver) Drink whenever they say 'ihre Majestät' (your majesty).
2. Drink anytime the narrator just throws something in Italian out there for no real reason.
3. Drink anytime it seems that the stupid crane mechanism that acts as a catwalk for Death and various other characters seems like it's going to crush someone, but doesn't.
4. Drink when Franz Joseph agrees with his mommy.
5. Drink when someone calls Sissie 'schön'.
6. CHUG FOR THE SWAN BOAT OF DEATH!
7. Drink for near (or actual) collisions of the motorized cafe-tables.
8. Drink for the verb 'gehören'. Look out particularly for ' ich gehöre nur mir!' (I belong only to myself!) and 'die letzte Tanz gehört mir' (the last dance belongs to me).
9. Drink when Sissie is inappropriately feminist for her era.
10. Drink for random three-pronged swastikas. (Yes, they did appear. Yes, it was at least thirty years too early for them. No, there was not a reason. )
11. Drink when you want to hasten the death of the child actors.
12. Drink when Death has randomly changed the color of his costume from the last time he appeared. (he does this a lot!)
Okay, so it's called 'Elisabeth: The Musical'- a fictional musical version of the life of the Austrian Empress Sissie. It was just.... crazy bad. Just amazingly kitschy and goofy and silly. There are really just no words to describe it- it's more goofy and kitschy than Phantom of the Opera, the dancing was just a little bit sloppy, and the stage had essentially two revolving circles on the stage (one inside the other) that were overused immensely to get people on and off stage. The backdrop was also some strange projected version of the Hofburg being displayed from a very low angle.
One of the main singers was actually the Italian assassin who killed Sissie- the framework of the musical was him defending himself in Hell to a personification of Death, played by a painfully blond man who seemed to have the unholy power to look good in either black OR white, but not to actually act or sing. Apparently, Death and Sissie hooked up when she was about 16 and had fallen from a tree- he never got over her, and became a creepy stalker her whole life, including taking her children, assisting her son's suicide, and giving her syphilis to make it clear that her husband is sleeping with prostitutes.
There was also a random scene where the courtiers STRAP ON PLASTIC HORSES to intrigue with Sissie's stepmom to get the Kaiser to sleep with prostitutes.
This is the kind of musical which inspires people to create drinking games. However, for some reason, this saccharine slop created the need in the German audience for a standing ovation. It was, according to C, the last strike- she has lost faith in Germans. (For comparison, 'Arturo Ui' was incredible, and did not get a standing ovation.'
So, in order to help you with your Sissie experience, I submit the following:
Elisabeth, the Musical: the Drinking Game:
1. (Only for the strong of liver) Drink whenever they say 'ihre Majestät' (your majesty).
2. Drink anytime the narrator just throws something in Italian out there for no real reason.
3. Drink anytime it seems that the stupid crane mechanism that acts as a catwalk for Death and various other characters seems like it's going to crush someone, but doesn't.
4. Drink when Franz Joseph agrees with his mommy.
5. Drink when someone calls Sissie 'schön'.
6. CHUG FOR THE SWAN BOAT OF DEATH!
7. Drink for near (or actual) collisions of the motorized cafe-tables.
8. Drink for the verb 'gehören'. Look out particularly for ' ich gehöre nur mir!' (I belong only to myself!) and 'die letzte Tanz gehört mir' (the last dance belongs to me).
9. Drink when Sissie is inappropriately feminist for her era.
10. Drink for random three-pronged swastikas. (Yes, they did appear. Yes, it was at least thirty years too early for them. No, there was not a reason. )
11. Drink when you want to hasten the death of the child actors.
12. Drink when Death has randomly changed the color of his costume from the last time he appeared. (he does this a lot!)
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-26 10:42 pm (UTC)"The Last Dance", where Der Tot confronts Elizabeth at her wedding:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rfUUvSRRu-A
Der Tot convincing Prince Rudolf to overthrow his father:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fOCjdW-7jzE
The city people getting angry about the milk shortage. I really like this troupe's Luigi Lucheni:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hQqQODQua94
And there are no plastic horses *shivers*.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-27 07:23 pm (UTC)Wait, no plastic horses???
no subject
Date: 2008-05-29 05:40 am (UTC)I really love the Takarazuka version, though that might just be because I love Takarazuka. I have two versions.
And no, no plastic horses, but Death does enter in the beginning on a massive lift-thing wielding a sword for no good reason.