In the Aftermath

So, in the wake of yesterday's confusion of noncommunication and remorse, I'm feeling better and slightly more able to handle things. ( Quick recap for those outside the friends list (who care) )

At this point, I would like to make the following announcements.

1. Much love to figureinthefog, spookiepookie, littlecatfeet, Emma-friend, J-Mo and 'Cedes bearing with me and emotional support in the wake of this whole mess.

2. As several of you guys are mutual friends of me and the person on the other side of this, I understand that this will be an incredible awkward position for you guys to be in for a while, and I will try as best as I can to keep you out of it as completely as possible. I do not want this to become a divisive point for our little cabal of friends, and if you feel like you're being pushed around by this, please tell me and I will try to work something out so that there's less pressure on you about it.

If I seem like I'm 'chatting you up' more than usual, it's not an attempt at politicking so much as a panicked response that falling out of touch with someone could mean that I come back to Swelles and find that we're estranged. I think I'm going to be a little freaked out for a while about this whole thing.

3. I do not like to walk away from relationships, and I do not throw people away. If you have a problem with me, please tell me. Don't sit on it and let it fester. Even if it's painful and sucky for you to have to discuss it, please please please don't just sit on it. Because I'm kind of oblivious to clear social cues at times and really might just not get the hint without you making it explicit. I would rather have an argument and feel like an asshole for something I did to offend you unknowingly than have you angry at me without any way to fix things.

Pondering

I'm not sure if I'm actually back on an emotional even-keel or just distracted enough that I'm not thinking about this 'break-up' thing. In any case, I'm periodically obsessing but without the previously accompanying emotional pain. I imagine it will still hurt if I stop long enough to think about it, but I've got no information about a crushing personal failure here on my part to occupy my mind, so I'm just getting on with life.

There's another sign up outside my kitchen that says "Last Warning"- the floor mates have failed to clean up their act, meaning that the kitchen is still uniformly gross. Monitory compensation is the next level.

I've been catching up on this season of House. I just hit episode 9, where the final line-up is decided. I'm not terribly surprised, honestly. The Ambitious Bitch character is only as interesting as the competition is close- if she wins, there's nothing more for her to do but be evil, while if she loses they get to have the whole "Woe is me, I'm a loser" montage, and an interesting character arc. Once they pulled a drug-addict loser-type patient out for the last episode, it was kind of clear what they were going to do. The false alarm with Thirteen would indeed have been shocking, but also a poor choice for the series- she's a necessary foil for House and the other guys. I am glad that Foreman is back in general. Chase, I could care less, really.

(I can only think that the process of the competition here was inspired by the competition the casting department had to deal with on the show.:)

The learning continues. First and second tests are on the Friday of the week after next.