I know, right? He was like the lawyer that time forgot, but I'm sure he's very stably employed! Excellent provider, as my grandmother would say. I did have a hard time not busting out the chorus of "The Night the Lights Went out in Georgia," so it's just as well that you kids didn't hook up.

That shoe would have been ruined even if I'd saved it from the mud. Georgia clay, ugh. I should have just walked on the shoulder instead of off in the mud, but I was so convinced that one of those trucks was going to turn me into roadkill. Limping up to the gas station with just one shoe really completed my stellar first impression on the locals.

I gave up and threw out those jeans because I just couldn't deal with the stains, but I kept that lone left shoe for like two years. I'm not sure what I thought I was going to do with it.