Hmmm. I was really sloppy about editing this, and I didn't have much of a direction. I did get lazy with the checking the tenses (or maybe my characters are time-tripping and neglected to mention it. That would be too cool for this scenario). But since I could not make up my mind while writing it, whether I wanted it in past or present, the end result is... confused, at best.


To be quite frank, I'm not sure what this criticism means here: "cross-dressing with participles and gerunds." An example would help, maybe? I'll poke around some grammar references and see if I can figure it out.

But thanks for the compliment about the other short pieces- I'm not consciously attempting to imitate your style but the density of your writing appeals to me, so I'm glad of the approval.

Meh. I'm doing this every day for a year- some will rock, some will suck, the trick is to keep on moving.