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Currently reading:

Still on The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (aka, Mo Dao Zu Shi) by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, the source material for the Netflix Chinese drama, the Untamed.

I am finding some of the issues I had with the show (when I tried to watch it several times) persist. This is mostly tone issues - it's a bit jarring to read stuff where something truly ghastly and horrible is happening but the main characters reaction is minimal or nothing. There's also an odd thing of POV, where the author will shift into one character's mind for the duration of a few observations and then move on, and that exposition are often dumped after an event. Something will occur and then characters will react Very Strongly, and the story will have to pause for a paragraph or two and explain all the backstory. (Example - a haughty young man makes a sneering comment in public about his fiancee, who we have never met or seen mentioned before but [we are now informed] is a nice girl but nothing special and only engaged to this guy because their mothers were friends. Hearing him, two people absolutely lose their shit about his bad behavior - because it's their fucking sister! All of this information arrives after the fact. We have never seen this haughty young man before.)

Overall, I can see why fans went apeshit over this book and I'm also willing to bet that this novel works better in its original language. I keep wondering about the allusions I'm missing (which I know I am) and how I work to catch up. It's all going a bit better now that I'm taking notes.

Recently finished

Once & Future by spqr on AO3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/35856907) - Reminiscent of The Accidental Warlord and His Pack by inexplicifics, (Links: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683661). This is a very charming story about Jaskier kissing an enchanted statue and it turning out to be a hot dude. Lovely fic, deeply uninterested in the violent edges of the Witcher universe. Just got posted this week!

The Witcher and the Lordling: Into the Mountains by Alex51324 (https://archiveofourown.org/series/2331386) - Technically, this second entry in this series is not entirely finished but it didn't impede my enjoyment at all. In an alternate universe where Witchers were not culled so much as leashed, Geralt and Jaskier break free and head out into the world. If you would enjoy reading a detailed breakdown of how to make a winter camp in the woods with nothing but a few tools and some knowhow, this is a great fic.

Up next:
Really I need to get back into House of Leaves before I completely forget the characters and the plot. I've also got the last two novellas of Neon Yang's Tensorate series up with my book club, so those will probably be the next on my list.

What I've Been Up To:
- Professional Life -
I started a new job at a new place! Still a university, but much smaller and with a much more tight staff. Crucially, it is completely remote, and responded to Covid with much stronger protocols and much more humane approach to the staff. They were not advertising the position as remote, but they are expanding to have remote staff as something they learned from the pandemic, so I'm feeling quite hopeful about this place and a return to the part of my job that I really liked.

In the weeks before and after I left, two people from my old team at my old university also left and moved to new places - I'm pleased for all of them.

-Social Media-
I'm still doing Tumblr and TikTok as my main incoming information - both of them seem to be good at showing me new things, which I really value. I'm basically off Facebook, Instagram, and anything else except Dreamwidth (eh, sorry for going dark at lot there!)

-Journals-
I've become moderately obsessed this week with book journals that I have seen on Tiktok - they seem part of an enjoyable tread of maximalist bullet journaling which is rather attractive as an art form. I started a bullet journal in January of 2020 and it rapidly turned into a hybrid model of a journal with a to-do list - it never really took the turn of involving all the colored pencils and stencils and graphs that people seem to like, but it did involve an investment in my own pleasure in the form of buying myself nice journals to write in, nice stickers to put in them, and nice pens to write with. All of those things, working from a mindset of "You are allowed to buy yourself Enough Things so that you don't start hoarding them to Save For Later" has really worked - I got out of my own way a bit there.

Partially I am a bit jealous of my sister, who has a notebook where she has written down every book she's finished since her early teens. It's patchy - she lost the habit for a few years - but it's kind of charming and I like the idea of it as a compact aide de memoir.

What I've Been Reading

-Traditional Publishing -
A Marvellous Light by Freya Markse - https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/9ae07ba5-fd85-44d6-ac5d-f9d45b3b21e7 - An excellent first novel! Really enjoyed the story, the characters were charming. It felt like someone took a look a Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell and was like, but what if the story was brisk and breezy and queer?

Red Thread of Fortune by Neon Yang - https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/be5daded-a3d3-427a-9bc5-c122fee68b7a Short, solid, not as dark as it seems like it should be from the premise. Takes place after the Black Tides of Heaven, and seems like they are both stories pulled from a mythology that exists just to the side of other novels. Really good stuff.

Have His Carcase by Dorothy Sayers - https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/40d83eee-cab2-4a83-b05d-cc0400c3fdc4 This novel was very very solid and just a touch too slow for my attention. The characters and their banter were charming enough to carry it - for a mystery reader with more taste for the genre, I think it would come across better.

- Self Published -
Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta - https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/cda06f38-9c67-42c3-89a1-b6d016fbc5aa Oh, god, just read the summary. It's sexy and goofy and absurd and a little too on the nose about the post-college millennial life

Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard - https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/2b1c3268-5abe-4e82-85e5-c2e98b4450a5 - Absurdly long, deeply kind, a book in which the main character saves the world by being the most organized person in an empire and actually being put in charge of the damn thing. And by, saves the world, I mean establishes universal basic income, decentralizing the nobility, and instituting government reforms based on his fantasy!Polynesian background that emphasizes the good in people being fostered and leadership as a duty.

-Fanfiction-

Soldier's Heart by Alex51324 - I re-read this sprawling, gorgeous thing again, and it was just in time. The WWI setting was profoundly helpful in re-watching the Lord of the Rings films and catching on thematic resonances in that work that I hadn't paid attention to before. Tho, also, probably some of that is from trying to do media studies in a more thoughtful way.

What's on My Mind
-Covid-
Not again. Please. I am very glad now I got my booster, since that seems to keep Omicron at least from being quite as spreadable. But I am about to leave on a trip and there are literally no antigen tests in any pharmacy for a 50 mile radius - they all sold out within two hours of showing up in the store.

So, it's a family visit with some masks and antigen testing and strong precautions about avoiding people outside the bubble.

-Great Queer Supernatural Re-Watch -
Thank god I didn't call off my Great Queer Supernatural Re-Watch - that nonsense is sustaining me thru the idea of another winter in insolation. We're resolved to do more careful reading about race and whiteness in the show - after season 3 there are almost no characters of color in the show at all, but there is a LOT of symbols and ideas that work on ideas of whiteness and masculinity, and we need some more tools to think about those.

I am freshly back online from a lovely vacation that involved very little structured time - exactly what I needed!

We visited some friends in southern states, which involved some magnificent fish dishes and some truly excellent BBQ. (After a lovely sampling of available sauces, I have picked a mustardy one that went well on everything, and purchased a bottle to take home.)

Bookwise, I picked up Andy Weir's most recent book, Project Hail Mary, a novel very much in line with The Martian for "smart person does thoughtful science carefully for high stakes and laudable goals." Overall I thought it was a fun and fast-paced read with a character, Ryland Grace, an extremely smart person who is also doing some really interesting things.

I do notice an element from The Martian that has carried over here, which is that Weir is pessimistic about politics and governments functioning together well and quickly in groups when faced with major stakes - in The Martian, this is handled by having all the committed scientists do an end-run around the politicians of their various countries to work together directly, any fallout in their future be damned- and Weir just doesn't really return to that, but it feels relatively natural; in PHM, this is handled by giving one character a 'get out of international law free' card for the scope of the scientific project they are working on, and then pointing out that there will be consequences for their actions later. While I think the second approach might better convey the idea that, actually, it's quite hard to make large groups of people work towards a single goal, no matter how much it's in their own interests, I preferred the first approach. PHM shunts the problem of imperfect authority to one side and says, this single person will make the right call - which is just moving the problem of authority onto one person rather than handling it.

I'm mentioning it here because I'm chewing it over a bit - it's pretty clearly a plot device to let Grace get to the cool science faster with less political discussion and I think it does the job quite well. But, man, if they had picked the wrong person to be the de-facto dictator of the big important science, none of this would have worked at all.

I'm also reading House of Leaves, which I have started before and put down before - I think this time will be better because I am less freaked out by the horror elements, and I have more time to devote to reading it on this vacation. I'm also letting myself write in the margins a lot, which is a great way of tracking my progress and my thoughts in a book this prone to sending the reader towards the end notes.

Read Laura Lam's Pantomime - truly did not enjoy this book. I'm venting here a bit because a friend of mine REALLY enjoyed it and I feel bad for disliking it so much.
SPOILERS Behind the Cut!
( Continue Reading )

In summary: This book is a debut novel; it shows. Lam doesn't seem to like women very much. The start is slow and kind of bad, but the ending is rushed and worse.

CW: animal harm? people harm? Not detailed.

Specifically, I was googling to find out how many days it's been since March 13th, and I didn't get further than "How many days since..." and Google autocompleted the phrase.

So, I think a lot of people are *done* with being in quarantine.

It's been 102 days since March 13th, by the way.

I fell off the Dreamwidth radar, mostly due to a case of The Sads (nonclinical, dog related).

We ended up having to send the dog back to the rescue league. She'd come in to them without a history, so they gave us the information they could about her behavior issues, but it turns out that she's actually not just food- and animal-aggressive; she's pretty aggressive across the board.

She bit me; it wasn't provoked by anything, and it came after an overall slow increase in aggressive behavior as she got more comfortable living with us. No stitches, but it broke skin and it could have been much worse if luck hadn't happened. I couldn't come off high-alert around her after that. We were not equipped for that level of aggression. So, back she went to the shelter, and I no longer have a dog. This was all covered in an f-locked post, but since I am REAL stringent about my access levels, most folks probably didn't see it. I was real fucking sad, friends. I hated having to make that call, even if it was the right one.

Quarantine life without a dog to give it some structure is really annoying, it turns out - I screwed up my sleep schedule and I'm working on getting back to normal there (reasonably good results) - I'm definitely exercising less. But, also, my anxiety levels are waaaay down, so maybe she was NOT a good fit for us.

I have some recs! I did read some excellent things!

Pro-fic:

Title: The Murderbot Diaries (series - Starts with the novellas All Systems Red (2018), then Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, and Exit Strategy (all 2018), then Network Effect (2020), with another novel planned for 2021. I do recommend reading them in order, but the novellas do a reasonably good job of starting
Freebie short story (prequel, does not give away main plot): https://www.wired.com/story/future-of-work-compulsory-martha-wells/
Link: http://www.marthawells.com/murderbot.htm
Author: Martha Wells
Summary: (All Systems Red) "On a distant planet, a team of scientists are conducting surface tests, shadowed by their Company-supplied 'droid -- a self-aware SecUnit that has hacked its own governor module, and refers to itself (though never out loud) as "Murderbot." Scornful of humans, all it really wants is to be left alone long enough to figure out who it is."

Why I love it: I deeply, deeply love Murderbot, as a protagonist, as a character, as the viewpoint on this larger world. Wells did an amazing job of putting us in the mindset of this person in this world, jaded and scared and trying to figure out what it WANTS, other than to be *left alone* by the weird humans who are treating it like a Real Person. Murderbot is profoundly competent and proficient within a certain field (protecting humans, dealing with semi-sentient technology, managing security systems that might be hunting it) and has a scathingly critical eye of people who are trying to do dumb things that compromise the safety of a client. Murderbot does *not* went to be a human being, thankyouverymuch, it just wants to not have to deal with all these damn FEELINGS that Other People have. Only other people. No one else.

Not to spoil too, too much - Murderbot's story is about recovery from trauma. (I'd say of the moral injury variety, but also a lot of dehumanization, because it is literally not human.) Murderbot is classified as equipment, despite the fact that it's sentient and has organic human components in its composition - and this story is about figuring out what 'being a person' would mean in a world where literally every other thing like it is literally equipment. So, content note for that; but since we see this world from Murderbot's viewpoint only, it never feels like that dehumanizing viewpoint is ever given any narrative weight - it's so clearly wrong that, as a reader, I was mostly furious on Murderbot's behalf.

If I had any notes about this series, it's that there's a pacing change between the novellas and the novel. That's not a flaw! The novel involves a larger cast, more complicated plot, and opens the point of view up a bit to several other characters. It's called Network Effect for a reason - Murderbot isn't running a solo mission a this point, and we actually get to see how the character grew internally and expanded their network of "their people." It's wonderful - Murderbot gets people who love it, as its flawed, devoted, twitchy, misanthropic self. I adore this series, and the novel is excellent - its pacing is different and that wasn't quite the ultraviolence popcorn that my brain wanted just then, so it was a bit slower.

I liked this series so much that I went and found Martha Wells's other series, Tales of Raksura, and I've finished the first book of that series and I'm into the second.

Specifically, the Richard Armitage bullshit. (I even rewatched some of the first two seasons of the goddawful 2006ish BBC Robin Hood, where time periods are a joke and the points don't matter!)

I'll cut here for spoilers that are at least a decade old now, just in case you care, and also so I don't subject you to the inevitable weirdness of my Brain on A Fictional Dude Crush.
( Read more... )

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177950
Fandom: Good Omens (TV and Book)
Pairing: Gen Aziraphale/Crowley
Author Summary: As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:

--His clothing was expensive and stylish;

--He wore very strange but noticeable cologne;

--His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;”

--He looked angry;

--He was wearing sunglasses.

What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?
Why I love it: Aubrey Thyme is the best therapist I have ever seen. The fic takes therapy SERIOUSLY, and does the work of understanding it, and shows how it can work and how it can fail and how to do it will and how to make mistakes and fix them. Crowley so perfectly in canon, and so snarky and hilarious and fun to watch, and Aubrey's affection for him just shines thru in the same way she will not permit him get away with his bullshit. Even a little. It's a joy to read along with this work that starts as a character study of Crowley and ends with the creation of this thoughtful, joyfully spiteful, determined human being. This story is a gem, download it immediately if you can't read it now in case it falls off the face of the earth.

Warnings: Some discussion of suicide, a view of the divine in keeping with Good Omens, some abuse of alcohol, detailed discussion of therapy and trauma

Xenoethnography is a series by Therrae (Dasha_mte)
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/913458
Fandom: Transformers
Pairing: None, Optimus Prime/OFC if you reeaaaaaaaally wanted to squint

Why I love it: I have talked about this series before, it's continuining, it's still a great outsider POV on the Transformers that blends multiple approaches to canon and takes the alien part of alien space robots really seriously. I think this is one of the best continuing series I am watching grow, and I cannot tell you enough that it's worth a read.

I Chose You by Coleen561
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872953
Fandom: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Pairing:Marian/ Guy of Gisbourne

Why I love it: I... I don't recommend this tv series. I don't. This fic is a fixit AU that diverges before the end of season 1. Guy avoids most of his more evil deeds and gets a backstory that makes him more reasonable and sympathetic but not a good person. Robin is as annoying as he is in the series. Marian is slightly better? I have enjoyed this fic a great deal, but I don't feel super great about the source material and I recommend this only with the understanding that you should watch the show by fastforwarding to the bits where Richard Armitage is on screen.

Forget Me Not by allyss
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3886780
Fandom: Hobbit films
Pairing: Fíli/Sigrid
Author's Notes: It’s a marriage of convenience, a way to forever strengthen the bond between the Dwarves of Erebor and the people of Dale. Or so Sigrid tells herself.
Why I love it: So, it's the usual fixit story of "Thorin and his nephews all survive the Battle of Five Armies" with some added thoughts on the politics of how the people of Laketown would actually feel about some randos showing up and stirring up trouble with the local dragon. Sigrid is Bard the Bowman's daughter, now a princess and in a arranged marriage with Fili, heir to the throne, feeling her way thru the morass of politics and distrust amongst her people and the dwarves while also figuring out if just maybe she can actually fall in love with her husband. This fic was a total surprise to me and it has completely sold me on this relationship and this pairing and I want it to be twice as long. I love it

Your New Twin Sized Bed by out_there
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89396
Fandom: Prison Break
Pairing: Alexander Mahone/Michael Scofield/Sara Tancredi
Author's Notes: Alex takes a two bedroom apartment that's close to his new office. The main bedroom is serviceably large, but it seems too big after months spent in a cabin, feels too empty after sharing a small boat with Michael and Sara, so Alex buys a large desk and makes it a study. The second room is tiny, but it fits a twin sized bed and a bedside table.
Why I love it: So, Prison Break had four seasons from 2005-2008, and ended with a death that got undone in the SURPRISE! 2017 fifth season reboot. I have not seen the fifth season, this fic has not seen the fifth season, and I legit will never see the fifth season. This fic takes three characters past the end of the fourth season of the show in a slightly different direction - as a V shaped poly triad, that has broken up. Alex Mahone is a ruthless investigator and killer and he is also more loyal to his need to protect the people loves than he is willing to risk them. So, when he thinks he's a risk to the people he loves? He leaves. And they follow. And it's just a bulletproof kink for me, to have a character think that they are less loved, less important, that they won't be missed, and then to be proven WRONG. And this fic does that. It also feels like a quick dip into a way that fanfic used to be, somehow, shorter and a little willing to indulge in character descriptions in a way that I think tumblr might drain out of modern fic? But I like all of it and I don't think it is a flaw.

Knitting: the project to make my dad a sweater is still in limbo - tho I have found a really viable candidate! The Neighborly Cardigan is free online and is, as the name suggests, deeply nostalgic for Mr. Rogers. But I'm just not sure about it - I've only done top-down sweaters, and I'm suspicious about something I would have to knit in pieces for someone I don't see that much.

Reading: I have done so much glorious reading over this long weekend.

First, the non starter - I started reading Mr. Churchill's Secretary, the first in a series, but I'm wondering if I should move further down the series. This book's summary says it's got a lot of things I should love (historical setting, smart heroine, sneaky mysteries!) but I'm getting bogged down in the introductions of many, many side characters, and I think the stars are just not aligned for this book right now. It's got all the stuff I want, I think, but there's a lot of First Book stuff happening that I think would probably get smoothed out once the author gets her feet under her. It was recommended by a friend, so there's something here worth getting to, but it's just not suiting my current mood.

I have finished, at last, the truly excellent Spinning Silver, which has a really great ending! I took forever to read this and yet every time I picked it up again, it was enthralling - I have no idea why I couldn't commit to it. It's excellent and sneaky and has loads of characters with lots of opinions about responsibility and choices and honor and it all ties together really well - no spoilers, but man I love everyone in this novel.

I am currently reading Witchmark by CL Polk and oh, it's delightful. It's so weirdly English and full of gay drama and bicycles and social privilege and lies and gay gay gay Feelings and it's a delightful read. I am on Chapter 11 and I adore the main character, who is both careful and clever and always a bit scared and there's nothing for it except to read on, adoringly, and see how things go. I also love everyone in *this* novel.

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kitewithfish

May 2025

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Page Summary

Reading Wednesday Meme
Life update and some reading recs
Sort of back from being sort of away
ugh, this book
I was googling a thing the other day
I regret to inform you that I am back on my bullshit - and some recs
In which my weekend is rehashed

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